Pipe Dream #273: To Be Structurally Sound – Cookies ‘n Cream Faux Cake

cookie cake 3cookie cake 1

I was hanging with some friends a few Mondays ago, and one of them said, “So we made these cheesy potato finger things. They were deep-fried, but they were delicious.”

And I was immediately thinking, “You can’t mean that. You don’t know what you are saying right now. May the fever pass.”

But they were delicious? I think you are using the wrong conjunction my friend. “Therefore” might be a wiser choice. In fact, I might go so far as to say that the sentence should be completely revised to read: “Because they were deep-fried, they were delicious.”

“A cake will be unnecessary” is another sentence that is not structurally sound. It leaves me feeling like something is off, and I immediately want to take it back. Guys, I didn’t mean that.

cookie cake 2

I wasn’t going to make a birthday cake this year. And I was going to be fine with it. After all, I went out for pastries the morning of, and when asked if I wanted a cake, I assured my adorably concerned friends and family that, “No no no, I don’t need a cake. I have had so many treats today that a cake will be unnecessary.”

And then, standing in a Target aisle full of pastel Easter candies, I realized that all my protests were in vain, and I was going to have a cake at 7 pm day of my birthday. So this sugar monstrosity happened.

And despite it’s sugar bombedness, you can rest assured that the layers work architecturally. They all meld together in one sweet textural experience. It is the closest thing I have made to a Momofoku recipe. You know those experimental cereal milk-flavored terrines of cookie crumbs that turn into cakes? It’s a restaurant and a book. Or a noodle bar and a gastro-bakery. I have no idea.


Cookies ‘n Cream Faux Cake

An LH Original

1 box Hershey’s Cookies ‘n Cream Cookie Mix + butter, as directed

2 tablespoons butter

2/3 bag mini marshmallows

3 cups Rice Chex

1 cup Birthday Cake Oreos, chunked up

More Birthday Cake Oreos

Desired frosting, for decoration + sprinkles

Spray a 9-inch round cake pan with cooking spray and preheat the oven to 350 F. Prepare the cookie mix according to package directions (you’ll need butter and water). Press the dough into the cake pan and back for around 10 minutes, until the dough turns slightly tan. Put the pan in the fridge to cool.

Melt the butter over low heat in a large saucepan, then add the marshmallows, stirring constantly until melted. Remove from heat and stir in the Chex and chunked Oreos. Place more Oreos over the cooled cookie base, then press the marshmallow mixture evenly over the Oreos, pressing firmly. The cake should have three layers at this point: cookie, Oreos, marshmallow mix. Let cool.

Run a knife around the edge of the cake pan, then carefully turn out the cooled cake onto a serving plate. Flip it over so the cookie is on the bottom. Whip up a frosting of your choice (I used a really simple buttercream of butter, powdered sugar, milk and vanilla) and decorate as desired.


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