Hateful Sprinkle Bars and a phat phamily phunction

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You can file this under the “I hate sprinkles category” along with the other sprinkles recipes on this blog.

I don’t even like sprinkles. To deal with the abundance of stale sprinkles in my pantry, I mixed a bunch of them together and periodically use them to decorate hateful bark cookies and to rain down like brimstone on innocent passersby. This is the evil twin equivalent of pre-mixing pancake mixes or something to have on hand as a “pantry staple.” Pre-made sprinkles mixes = totally pointless and tasteless and nefarious.

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There are orange and black bat sprinkles. Look closely.

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Wait, guys, legit, how did this blog post get so dark? These bars weren’t even bad. They were pretty average sugar cookie bars for a phat phamily phunction at which we watched this lol.

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Sprinkle Bars

Adapted from fearless homemaker

For the cookies:
1 stick (8 tablespoons) butter, at room temperature
1 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda

For the frosting:
1 1/2 sticks (12 tablespoons) butter, at room temperature
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract + 1/4 teaspoon almond extract
pinch of salt
3 1/2 cups powdered sugar, sifted
3 tablespoons milk
food coloring, if desired
sprinkles, if desired

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Spray an 8×8″ or 9×9″ baking pan with non-stick spray.

Cream the butter and sugar on a medium-high speed until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition and scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed. Add in vanilla extract. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, salt, + baking soda. slowly add to butter mixture, and  mix on low speed just until combined.

Press the dough into the prepared pan in an even layer. Bake for 15-20 minutes, until light golden brown.

To make the frosting, beat the butter on a medium-high speed until light and fluffy. Add in the vanilla + salt. Add the powdered sugar 1 cup at a time, mixing slowly until combined. Add milk and mix until fluffy. Tint with a drop of food color, if desired. Spread the frosting over the cooled bars and decorate with sprinkles.

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