Hateful Sprinkle Bars and a phat phamily phunction

You can file this under the “I hate sprinkles category” along with the other sprinkles recipes on this blog.

I don’t even like sprinkles. To deal with the abundance of stale sprinkles in my pantry, I mixed a bunch of them together and periodically use them to decorate hateful bark cookies and to rain down like brimstone on innocent passersby. This is the evil twin equivalent of pre-mixing pancake mixes or something to have on hand as a “pantry staple.” Pre-made sprinkles mixes = totally pointless and tasteless and nefarious.

There are orange and black bat sprinkles. Look closely.

Wait, guys, legit, how did this blog post get so dark? These bars weren’t even bad. They were pretty average sugar cookie bars for a phat phamily phunction at which we watched this lol.

Anyway,

Lauren

Sprinkle Bars

Adapted from fearless homemaker

For the cookies:
1 stick (8 tablespoons) butter, at room temperature
1 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda

For the frosting:
1 1/2 sticks (12 tablespoons) butter, at room temperature
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract + 1/4 teaspoon almond extract
pinch of salt
3 1/2 cups powdered sugar, sifted
3 tablespoons milk
food coloring, if desired
sprinkles, if desired

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Spray an 8×8″ or 9×9″ baking pan with non-stick spray.

Cream the butter and sugar on a medium-high speed until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition and scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed. Add in vanilla extract. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, salt, + baking soda. slowly add to butter mixture, and  mix on low speed just until combined.

Press the dough into the prepared pan in an even layer. Bake for 15-20 minutes, until light golden brown.

To make the frosting, beat the butter on a medium-high speed until light and fluffy. Add in the vanilla + salt. Add the powdered sugar 1 cup at a time, mixing slowly until combined. Add milk and mix until fluffy. Tint with a drop of food color, if desired. Spread the frosting over the cooled bars and decorate with sprinkles.