Pipe Dream #211: To Make A Mercy Killing – Orange Almond Trifles

Trifles are the cooking equivalent of those sand art projects you did in elementary school, easy to assemble and satisfyingly ornamental without much effort. Granted, you probably won’t be able to create a camel under a palm tree using orange zest and whipped cream, but go for it if you want, man. Also, like sand art, trifles have a short shelf life, though this is because they go down easy, not because your little sister shook up your sand bottle and made all the colors mix and then your sand bottle was ugly beige-colored instead of zesty rainbow-colored.

Guys, I was really excited about using this flavoring oil. It’s like orange juice concentrate. Except not for drinking. It’s just really strong, ok? You can get these in like, any flavor you want, too.

Unlike this trifle, which was gluten-free and intentional, these are the result of an overly dramatic cake layer. I tried to get it out of a pan I didn’t bother lining before it was totally cool and was met with fierce resistance, so I mercilessly shook it into pieces. It was heartbroken, but hey, I can’t care about every cake’s feelings. After such a bad knock, I decided to give it a mercy killing and split it into four crumbled servings which I buried in creamy layers of pastry cream and whipped cream. Not such a bad way to go out, I guess.

Because of the chill time required, trifles are a make-ahead dessert. Also, aren’t you just jazzed about getting a peek inside this fridge? To me, knowing what’s in someone’s fridge says a lot about them. It’s like reading their diary. Ok, I realize I am a little obsessed with food sometimes. You probably do not even care about this. Olives, broccoli slaw, maple syrup, greek yogurt and queso. Judge me how you will.

I served the trifles in individual glasses garnished with an orange wedge to make them an acceptable dessert-for-breakfast. Because a pretty glass means you can eat whatever you want whenever you want.

Killin’ it,

L

Orange Almond Trifles

For the cake:

Half of any cake recipe will do. I used this one from i am baker.

For the orange pastry cream:

Any pastry cream recipe will do. I halved this one from Food Network.

For the sweetened whipped cream:

Beat 1 cup heavy whipping cream with a tablespoon or two of powdered sugar until soft peaks form. Stir in a 1/2 teaspoon vanilla.

Layer the trifle components, starting with the cake, then the pastry cream, then the whipped cream. Garnish with orange zest and toasted almonds. I used wine glasses as a vessel, but you could use anything. If you don’t want individual servings, you could try something like this.

Pipe Dream #198: To Exhaust Into Frost – Grasshopper Oreo Pots

These pots are a product of exhaustion. Sometimes I plan to bake something and then have some extra ingreds to use up, which is a problem because of my natured and nutured sense of frugality. My thought process is like this:

“Oh, I’ll just do one more thing. I’ve really wanted to try this recipe again. Dang, now I will have an extra egg yolk? Heaven knows I don’t want to be wasteful and throw it away…what’s a girl to do with egg yolks? Pastry cream! But I need two. Ok, now I have an extra egg white! What to do with…ok, frosting, obviously. This recipe split last time I tried it. I think the kitchen was too warm. Or I overbeat it, one of the two. Might as well try my hand at two different flavors while I’m at it. I like Oreos. Ok perfect.”

And thus, a two-hour baking project turns into a day-long baking frenzy, the end of which results in zero self-control, eight cookies and that nauseous feeling you get after “taste-testing” the thirty kinds of frosting you’ve just made.

I don’t remember what these even tasted like, but their praises were sung by all those who partook in their rich, creamy depths. I made the portions small, because heaven knows eating frosting and pastry cream with a spoon should only be done in the smallest of doses.

Goodbye,

L

Grasshopper Oreo Pots

An LH original

Oreo Pastry Cream

Inspired by Serious Eats

1 cup whole milk

1 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch

1 1/2 tablespoons sugar

pinch salt

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 package of Oreo cookies, maybe 15?

Set out a large bowl over an ice bath. Pulse up the Oreo cookies in a food processor until you have both fine and large chunks.

In a small saucepan, whisk together cornstarch, sugar, salt and milk. Stir frequently and bring to a boil over medium heat. Cook, whisking constantly, until the pudding is thick with slow bubbles breaking the surface (about 2 minutes). Remove from the heat and pour immediately into a large bowl.  Whisk in the vanilla. Set the bowl over the ice bath and whisk frequently to cool to room temperature, which should take about 10 to 15 minutes.

Stir in  about half of the Oreo crumbles to the pastry cream, using the finer crumbles and reserving the larger chunks for a garnish. Transfer into six small ramekins and refrigerate while you make the buttercream.

Note: The pastry cream can be made in advance, but make sure to put some cling film on top of the cream to prevent a skin forming.

Grasshopper Buttercream

Adapted from The Great British Bakeoff

2 egg yolks, at room temperature

85 grams white sugar or caster sugar

150 grams (or 1 1/2 sticks, 12 tablespoons) butter, at room temperature

1 tablespoon creme de menthe, to taste

1 teaspoon creme de cacao, to taste

Put the egg yolks in the bowl of an electric stand mixer and beat briefly to combine.

In a small sauce pan, heat the sugar with 4 tablespoons of water, stirring until the sugar is dissolved. When the sugar is dissolved, heat the sugar water until it boils. Using a candy thermometer, wait until the mixture has reached 225 degrees F; you shouldn’t need to stir it. Make sure the mixture does not start to caramelize.

With the mixer on medium speed, slowly pour the sugar syrup into the eggs, letting the syrup run down the side of the bowl in a thin, steady stream. Continue to beat the mixture until it is pale and mousse-like and completely cold.

At this point, start adding the butter, one tablespoon at a time and whipping until incorporated before adding another tablespoon. Whip until fluffy, then beat in the creme de menthe and creme de cacao.

To assemble the pots, pipe a swirl of buttercream over top of the chilled pastry cream and garnish with the reserved Oreo crumbles. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

Pipe Dream #194: To Be Easily Amused – Chocolate Cake + Salted Caramel Cream Cheese Frosting

In -depth layer cakes are for Saturdays. A girl’s gotta commit to something. Unless it is a no-commitment weekend. My dear friend suggested this recipe to me, and I couldn’t resist.  SALTED CARAMEL CREAM CHEESE FROSTING. Say that again.

Plus, I’ve been meaning to try Ina’s chocolate cake recipe for two years. It’s an internet standard, straight up chocolate cake. About this cake: it comes together in a cinch, and it’s really tasty. A little less dense than the super moist chocolate cake I’ve raved about before, but a little more flavorful than this one-bowl chocolate cake. Try it, you’ll like it.

I will say. I did try and make my own caramel for the salted caramel frosting (which is why this recipe counts as “in-depth.”)

It wasn’t ultra-successful. The original recipe wasn’t super clear about the cooking time, which I realized, but I was just too lazy to look up a more detailed recipe. I decided to try and feel my way through it, but given my track record with caramel, this was an unwise decision. Will I never learn?

The caramel lacked flavor; I didn’t cook until it reached a “deep caramel color.” In my defense, look at the above picture. Would you call that a “deep caramel color?” What is a “deep caramel color?” I’m making caramel. I knew I was sunk after the heavy cream I added didn’t foam up either, instead pooling like so many tributaries. But the end result, even though not as toasty as I would have liked, was still yummy. I mean, if you poured it all over my ice cream and/or quesadillas, I would still eat it.

P.S. When is the last time you had a quesadilla? Seriously, it has probably been, like, 11 years.

The caramel frosting is also the reason I didn’t spend too much time dressing this cake up, except for the retro almond crusting. By the time I was finished slogging through the emotional highs and lows of failing caramel once again, I was in no mood to toast almonds and meticulously smooth out every crack and crevice like a plastic surgeon. Plastic surgery and cake should never go together. They are like the two positive ends of a cow stomach magnet. That is, they are not attracted to one another.

(What, you didn’t play with cow stomach magnets as a kid? You are so strange. I am easily amused, apparently.)

Hoo-ee this has been a post for the analogies. Sorry.

I was also clearly not in the mood to wait until the cake was cool/the frosting firmed up before slicing into this baby. No regrets on this point.

Impatient always,

L

Chocolate Cake
Adapted from Ina Garten

1/4 cup canola oil
1 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg, at room temperature
1 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1/2 cup buttermilk, shaken, at room temperature
1/4 cup sour cream, at room temperature
1/2 cup hot, strong coffee
1 1/3 cups  flour
2/3 cup good cocoa powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line two 8″ cake pans with parchment. Grease the pans.

Sift the flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, and salt into the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment and mix on low speed until combined. In another bowl, whisk together the buttermilk, oil, eggs, and vanilla. With the mixer on low speed, slowly add the wet ingredients to the dry. With mixer still on low, add the coffee and stir until just combined, scraping the bottom of the bowl with a rubber spatula a few times to make sure that everything is well-incorporated.

Divide the batter into the two pans and bake for 25 to 35 minutes, until a cake tester comes out clean. Cool in the pans for 30 minutes, then turn them out onto a cooling rack and cool completely.

Salted Caramel
Adapted from life on blackberry farm

1/4 cup white sugar

1/4 cup brown sugar

1 tablespoons water

1 tablespoon light corn syrup

1/4 cup heavy cream

1 tablespoons butter

1/4 teaspoon lemon juice

1/4 teaspoon kosher

Combine the sugar, water, and the corn syrup in a medium saucepan and stir with a wooden spoon over medium heat until sugar is dissolved. Increase the heat to medium-high, and bring to a boil, swirling (not stirring!) the mixture until the caramel turns amber-colored. Note: I’m not sure how long this should take (maybe 5 minutes?). I didn’t do mine long enough, and the caramel flavor wasn’t strong, but at least I didn’t make crunchy candy caramel.

Remove from the heat and let stand for 30 seconds. Pour the heavy cream into the mixture. Stir the mixture, then add the butter, lemon juice, and salt. Stir until combined.

Pour 1/2 cup of the caramel into a measuring cup cup and allow to cool until just warm, maybe 20 minutes.

Salted Caramel Frosting
Adapted from life on blackberry farm

1 stick butter, at room temperature
4 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
3 1/2 cups sifted powdered sugar
1/2 cup salted caramel

Beat the butter and cream cheese at medium speed until creamy. Add 2 cups of the powdered sugar into the butter/cream cheese mixture and beat to combine, then add 1/2 cup of the salted caramel and beat to combine. Add additional powdered sugar until the frosting is the correct consistency. If you find that the frosting is still too soft, you can set it up in the fridge for a few minutes.

To assemble to the cake, frost as desired and decorate with about 2 ounces of sliced almonds, toasted if you want.